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I found a block of candy as big as a car and of course I didn't eat it because my mouth is too small and my stomach too! You'd have to be crazy to try that and you probably wouldn't have any teeth left time bedtime came around.
Plus, it would get stuck in your throat and you couldn't breathe; the air would be trying to get in, going "Hey, candy, get out of the way," and the candy would go: "I can't, I'm stuck," and then you would die and your parents would be really sad.
And you wouldn't want to make your parents sad because they're already worried about getting old.
So I got inside the candy car and I could reach the steering wheel and the gas pedal how do you like that?
I drove through the wall of my house which made water and power squirt everywhere and no one should touch that or they would die just like the guy that tried to eat the candy and make the parents double sad.
I passed some kids on big wheels and they saw me and idolized me and said hey, give us a ride and I said no way, the candy car rules!
I swerved onto some grass and was by the fence around the neighborhood pool and there was Mickey on the high diving board. He said hey Bill check this out and did a cannonball that sent all the water tidalwaving onto the lifeguard who was reading a book by some guy whose name sounded like a dog barking in Russian.
I got out of the car to pee and when I redid my fly it was gone.
When I told my mom she said Ah you're making it all up and I showed her that the seat of my pants was sticky. They couldn't verify the part about the pool because it rained all afternoon.